How does Coaching work?

I was asked recently by a prospective client,



‘How does coaching work, and why should I do it?’, ‘I mean, how will it help me?’.



Great questions’, I responded, let me explain it in an analogy. Prepare your imaginations and get ready for an adventure…


Imagine you are standing at the back of your house, looking over your garden. Imagine your garden was 10 times larger, now look to the far end where the sun lights warmth settles on the trees calling you forth. You feel the desire to walk over and feel the suns glow on your face, but you are barefoot and there is no pathway. From this place of recognising where you are and seeing something on the horizon that you want is a position that I bet you find yourself in on a fairly regular basis. We have things that we want but they seem far off and/or too hard to reach. It will be uncomfortable and take effort so rather go back in the house, switch on Netflix and order a pizza. We have all done this.



However, this does not take us forward, in fact the opposite it makes us fat and lazy – something that not one of us wants. I am not saying that you need to cross that divide to the coveted warmth of the sunshine and excitement of new adventures with bare feet and discomfort, this is where coaching comes in. Let’s go back to you standing by the doorway, even if you did give up, head to the sofa and devoured an Italian delight (man, I love pizza!), even if this is the case, let’s head back there and take a look again.


From your vantage point looking out this time you introduce a coach to the scenario. My job is to stand there with you, to discuss the delight of the other side with you. Initially we talk a while to get to one another, to identify your true motivations, to make sure this goal is something you truly want. I find out who you are do you like symmetry, or are you more abstract in your approaches? Do you enjoy order and discipline or do you approach life in a more relaxed way taking things as they come. No one way is better than the other, it is about finding ways to help that fit and suit you, not forcing you to do what you don’t want to, my role is not to point out where you have not achieved, it is to work with who you are and find the right ways to get you where you want to go. Simple as that.




So, you and I jump in my metaphorical car and take a drive down the road to the hardware store. For the purposes of this example let’s say you are an organised person that enjoys order and cleanliness. We head toward the outdoor tile aisle. We start browsing the variety of tiles. In this case the tiles represent direction, they represent the discussions that knowing what you want to achieve, to get to the other side, we now identify the best ways to do that, for you. We take time on this as it is essential that you feel comfortable with the choices. This does not mean you only get one go at this, not at all - more on this shortly. We browse the tile sand find one that feels right, that could work for you. Now we don’t buy a batch of tiles, because you firstly don’t know how far it is to the tree line and secondly if this tile is going to be the right answer for you. You take the tile and feel confident to give it a try. We head back home.


We are standing at your back door. You have the floor tile in your hand and now you must place it in the ground in the direction of the other side. It is you that must place it as no one else can have an impact on our lives beyond ourselves in the pursuit of our goals, it must be taken on by us. Once placed you take that first step toward your goal, you feel the tile under your feet, you see how it feels. You see the sunshine blanketing the trees now a little closer. Tile by tile you edge closer to your desired outcome, to your goal. Each time we return to the ‘hardware store’ you select a tile, now it doesn’t need to be the same one as the previous one, you may chose a different colour, shape, whatever works for that next step.



When you are being true to yourself you will know the right direction, it may well be the same tile over and over and as you are such an organised and planned person, chances are it will be. Each will be placed carefully and considered fully. Each time you get closer.



It becomes easier to choose the tiles because you know what you want and now you have an idea of how to get there. Each day, you get a another tile and before you know it you are in your kitchen putting together a delicious picnic to enjoy in the sunshine under the trees, something you can now do every day because you took the time to create your own pathway, no Netflix or pizza required. Don’t’ get me wrong I love both of these but they will not help any of us achieve our goals. You have the ability to achieve your goals, to make it happen and this is how it is done. Tile by tile, day by day.




Sometimes you may find yourself halfway across and feel fed up that it takes effort to go to the hardware store, the tiles can sometimes feel quite heavy, it takes effort and the sofa is calling. However, we know what is down that road, nothing new and certainly not the achievement of your goals. All athletes in this world do not have some never ending resource of energy and enthusiasm, the ones that are successful turn up every day despite not feeling like it, because the end goal is worth more than any amount of Netflix and pizza. This is how we move to our goals. And, this is where coaching comes in as a powerful tool.


Coaching is a guidance tool that helps you find the right tiles to move confidentially toward your goals. All you need is to show up each day, chose the next tile and place it down. I will be right at your side, especially on those days when you don’t feel it. Pretty cool huh.


Schedule a FREE coffee break chat with me to see how coaching could get your life on track and help you achieve your goals.

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